Well, almost 100 anyway.
Frank showed up at the ER one Sunday Morning about 8am. He was dressed in a suit, white shirt, tie and a fedora hat.
It seems that Frank had been having chest pain for 2-3 hours prior to arrival so I hustled him back into the ER and started doing all the normal stuff we do. Hooked him up to the monitor, EKG, IV, Oxygen and all that.
Now I spend a lot of time asking questions while I'm doing all this so I get an idea on what's going on, history, etc and some background as to what's really happening.
Turns out that, Frank is 99 years old, about 6 months shy of 100.
I'm already impressed because he's sharp as a tack, looks nowhere near that age and had driven himself to the ER instead of calling on EMS to come get him.
While gathering background info and health history, I learned that, Frank had taken Viagra the night before.
OK. I'm even MORE impressed now.
Frank had been a Veterinarian and knew his medicine and all that so he'd wisely stopped taking his Nitrate medicine 4-5 days prior to his big date on Saturday night.
Smart move on his part as mixing those can have some serious bad effects on the old blood pressure.
Like I said, Frank was sharp as a tack.
Well, the problem was that the exertion that resulted form the Saturday night encounter was a bit much and the Nitrates he needed to help weren't there. Bummer.
He wasn't bitching about it though. He'd taken a calculated risk and figured the chance of getting his ashes hauled versus not taking his regular medicine was worth it.
It seems this had worked out ok in the past and, as he put it, "What the hell do I have to lose?"
Basically, he was stable and just needed to get his shit back together and rest a bit. It was a pretty slow morning and He and I hit it off pretty well and shared a few laughs.
Till his son showed up.
Now his son was at least 75 years old and the first thing he does is starts in on old Frank about how stupid it is to stop taking his regular medicine and to be taking Viagra.
Frank just sat there and let the kid go on without saying a thing. And he did go on. And on. And on. Till I couldn't take it anymore.
I finally told, Junior to "Shut the hell up!" Junior got pretty upset about that and tells me, "But that could kill him!"
To which both Frank and I said, "So who cares!?!"
I took it from there and reminded junior that every Cowboy wants to die in the saddle and even if Frank did die, it would take the Undertaker a week to get the smile off his face. And besides, what real man wouldn't want to go out like that?
Junior got pissed and took off muttering and Frank and I laughed about it some more. Frank knew his Kid had his best interest at heart and wasn't mad about it at all.
All of a sudden, Frank leans over and says, "I forgot to tell ya the best part."
Of course, I'm all ears now and said, "Yeah, what's that?"
Frank replies, "My girl Friend? She's only 69 years old. I been robbing the fucking cradle!"
I damn near lost it. We laughed so hard that the Doctor came in worrying I was gonna start old Frank's chest pain up again. We sent him upstairs for observation and I never saw him again. Don't know if he made it to 100 or died in the saddle with blood on his boots or what.
But I'll never forget him.
Who wouldn't want to be like that?
Gratuitous Picture for a Wednesday Night-