Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Amateur Night is Coming .............

Saturday Night. New Years Eve. The annual event where people who have been good all year for Santa, sneak out while he's recouping from his Christmas jet lag and misbehave.

New Years Eve is always a Cluster *#@^ in the ER. I've worked all but one of the last 14 New Years in the ER and there is always something to laugh about.

Generally, (and I hope I don't jinx myself here) New Years is a suprisingly quiet night. There's always one or two goofy bastards who wind up being drug in by some concerned friends for "Alcohol Poisoning". Lightweights who get carried away and pass out early and resist all attempts to get them off the floor.

Once in a great while, these folks really are in need of someone to maintain an airway for them as they try to pull a Jimi Hendrix and choke on their own vomit. Not to often though, thankfully. Mostly they piss on themselves and snooze quietly in a warm puddle of their own making.

ER people fear the "Post Midnight MVA" most of all. That's when some drunk turns their 2001 Mustang GT into a 3000lb not so smart bomb and successfully targets another driver at high speed. Ugly shit happens then.

The drunk driver rarely dies. Darwin is funny about that one. I've heard lots of theories about why that is, but I don't know if I believe any of them.

If you're going out New Years Eve. Have a driver, take a cab or don't drink if you're gonna drive. Simple.

Heck, walk if it's convenient and close. Or better yet - Stay Home. Back when I played in Bands, NYEve was a big night. Big money and lots of tips. Most of us needed the money then too. But even we were afraid of the drive home after seeing so many stupid asses getting falling ass down drunk and stumbling off to the parking lot. I still shiver at that picture.

Be cool and Be safe. I don't want to meet you in the ER, OK?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I Got a Sweater for Christmas ...........

I really wanted a moaner or a screamer.

Unk hopes you all had a nice Christmas. I was either sick or working (or both) the whole time and didn't have a chance to wish anyone greetings till now. Sorry about that.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Best Laid Plans ..............

I'd like to meet the guy who draws this stuff.
Like most of these pictures, I stole this one from:

Curmudgeonly and Skeptical .
More Christmas Funnies............

Stolen from Kim at: See Link on sidebar

Friday, December 23, 2005

Damn, I've Got a Migraine..........

The weather is much nicer today. Sunny and low 40's now and it should get warmer over the next few hours.

And I got a friggin' headache. Argh!!!!!!! These are not just "Headaches". I don't know how to explain it.

This is a new phenomena that's popped up over the last year. Not fun. That beautiful Sunshine? Kills me. Makes me want to throw up. No way I can go ride. Shit.

I broke down and took the "Big Narco Headache Meds" about an hour ago and it's a little better. Even if my Liver is not. Gonna have to go try and sleep it off.


Update 0330 Saturday: I think I finally shook this thing. Took another dose of the "Big Narco Meds" to do it though. Woke up (again) about an hour ago and realized I was hungry. Then it dawned on me that I had tossed everything I'd eaten all day long. DUH!

I feel pretty washed out, but my head isn't killing me anymore at least. I don't know how people deal with migraines on a regular basis. This is only the 4th one I've had and I'm already terrified of next one. They are completely debilitating. I've got a pretty good tolerance to pain overall, but these things frighten me.

OK, enough with the whining. I'm better now and on the way back to normalcy, so life goes on and that's good.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Christmas at Arlington................

A beautiful and sobering picture of Arlington National cemetery.
May Our hero's rest well. Please remember Our Service Men and Woman this Christmas. See the Sidebar for Service related support links if you need ideas.


Update: The Freedom Folks have been added to the links on the sidebar.
They Lied. Brrrrrr............

Took off for a ride on the Concours about 11 am. It was about 42 degrees,Sunny and getting warmer. Not bad. Rode into town and topped off the gas tank and did some Christmas shopping. Bought the boy some tools, so he'll leave mine alone. Maybe.

Got that out of the way and headed South for a ride. Saw two young guys on sportbikes and we all waved enthusiastically to each other. I think it was to reassure ourselves that there are other folks out there who will ride when the weather isn't the best also.

Rode to a little restaurant about 20 miles Southeast of here. I took the scenic route and made it about a 40 mile ride. Other than my hands getting cold, it was all right.

Let me tell you about this place. It's out in the middle of nowhere. Well, it is a town of sorts. There's about 15 - 20 houses scattered about an intersection of 2 county roads at a 4 way stop. There's a Barber shop (open on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday only) a small post office, 3 empty buildings and a restaurant.

The building that houses the restaurant is really old and shows it. Both inside and out. The food is good basic stuff and cheap. Plus you get a lot of it.

That's the good part. The bad part is that the place looks like it may fall in on you at any minute and ........... to put it nicely, it's a dump. My wife refuses to go near the place. Understand, Queen Buffness is not picky, nor does she suffer from an overinflated sense of self. She just has standards a bit higher than mine.

It's been awhile since I'd been there and I'd forgotten about the decor. 70's Goodwill rejects. Interesting does not really describe it. I was afraid the wiring, which is exposed for easy inspection throughout the place, was gonna combust at any minute. I figure if that happened, the insurance company would be out at least $300 bucks for all the furnishings and equipment in the place. Yeah, it's a little rough. Maybe I'm being a little harsh. The Elvis stuff is probably worth a couple of hundred bucks.

I ate anyway. After all, I got used to Army chow, not a hell of a lot scares me anymore. Cheeseburger, fries and coffee. $3.38 plus $1.00 for the waitress with the speech impediment. Yeah, the staff and clientele seem to fit the overall look of the place.

I know what you're thinking and maybe I don't look to out of place there.

The Sun disappeared and the temp began to drop while I was eating. It was 37 degrees when I got back home. I still enjoyed the ride. It's supposed to be mid to high 40's tomorrow. We'll see. I'll probably ride if it's anything close to that. Probably pick a different place to eat though.
Ooh, Ooh. No. No. No..........

That's what the Motorcycle was saying to me this morning as I tried to get it to start. It's only been a week since I last started it, but it's only about 25 degrees out too.

It's supposed to get up to around 40 by noon or so and I'm hoping to go for a ride later.

That's if I don't fall asleep. Working nights all the time makes it a real challenge to do anything in real people time.

Riding should commence in about 2 hours if it's anything over freezing. Screw it, I'm gonna ride. I need to get it warmed up good and change the oil if nothing else. Winter sucks.

Update. It's only 10am and I can feel a big difference out there already. YES!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

More Christmas Stuff..........

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Guitar Stories................

I've been playing guitar for about 34 years now. Sounds like a long time and I guess it is. Now that I think of it, I ought to be much better than I am after all that time. But I never really wanted to be a "Guitar God" or anything. I started playing mainly to pick up girls.

Yeah, big surprise that one. I had a buddy who was as ugly as Fidos Ass, but he picked up the girls because he could halfass play guitar. I figured if that ugly mutt could do that and I'm only half as ugly as him............ Yeah, a plan was formed and I went out and got a cheap Epiphone acoustic box.

I had played guitar for about 6 months when I was 13 but that shit was a lot like work and I was so ADD (Attention Defecit Disorder) I just couldn't do it and being forced to practice made me just wanna break stuff. Mom got tired of fighting about it and that was that for 5-6 years.

I found that I really liked to play. I didn't pick up any girls but that was ok too. I played the shit out of that cheap ass Epiphone for several years. The neck got loose and had a big bow in it, but I kept right on with it. I finally acquired a newer box this way.........

I was working a construction job in Iowa and was in the hotel bar getting good and drunk one night with the foreman and his beautiful wife Alice. In walks this big dude playing a nice guitar, rather poorly. He looked kinda like Hank Williams Jr, but had even less talent. He said, "Call me Otis". So we did. We sat there awhile and proceeded to get more drunk and finally went up to Otis' room to burn some rope I happened to have with me.

Like I said, Otis was a big fella. But Otis was a lightweight. John, the foreman, and I were pretty close to Olympic class drinkers at that time. Otis was not up to the task of trying to keep up with us. That would've been ok, but the more he drank, the more he kept trying to hit on Alice. Remember Alice?

Bad move.

John told Otis to keep his hands to himself ......... Twice. Once more than most guys would've and I thought that was pretty nice. Twice wasn't good enough though. Otis Put his hand on Alices' leg again and John quietly got up and excused himself. I didn't know what he had in mind, but I knew it wasn't gonna be good for ol' Otis.

I think subconsciously, Otis must have known it too. His lack of beer drinking KungFu, coupled with the rope we'd burned, made his belly decide that it was a good time to do a crash evacuation maneuver of all contaminants. He bolted to the bathroom and started puking his guts out. Alice and I started getting ourselves ready to go when John came back.

With a tire iron.

And hostile intent.

John was NOT a fella to get riled up. He had every intention of beating Otis to a friggin' pulp and only Otis' lightweight constitution had saved him. With some difficulty, Alice and I kept him from beating in the door to get at Otis and killing him. To this day I believe we saved the life of that dumbass.

John was in a cold fury and started looking all around for something to vent on. And saw that nice guitar sitting against the wall. Up came the tire iron........ and I snatched it right out of his hand from behind. And it was a good thing I had it too. He whipped around andlooked at me and flat scared the shit out of me. But I told him not to smash up a perfectly good guitar just because it's owner was an asshole. He snatched that guitar up and was getting ready to smash it into the wall when Alice said she wanted it. Alice didn't have any desire to own a guitar, but she was smart enough to know that a guitar smashing spree at 2 o'clock in the morning would just about guarantee us all going to jail.

John handed it to her and that was that. We all left to the sound of Otis blowing chunks in the crapper.

As we split up at our rooms, Alice handed me the guitar and said, "Here, I don't want this piece of shit. You take it."

I've had it ever since. The statute of limitations for that crime ran out about 1984, so I guess I can tell the story now. It's been a good friend and companion through many adventures. But it's never been as good a friend to me as it was to Otis.

It saved his life.

Think You're a Bad Ass ..................?

Check this shit out.

You may remember Dr. J and Mr T from my posts in October, when we took our little trip. Mr T recorded this "Gnarly" race the other day and we all got together at his place and watched it earlier tonight. Totally cool. Speed channel is gonna rebroadcast it Jan. 6 (2 am) and Jan. 8 (6 pm).

Watch it. You don't have to be a big off road motorcycle fan to appreciate what's involved in a competition like this. God awful terrain.

To give you an idea of how tough this course is, only 14 guys finished out of 87 entrants. All the riders were invited. Top people and champs of ISDT, etc.

Really fun and I recommend it. And you know you're Crazy Uncle would not steer you wrong, children.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Damn, It's Dark AND Cold. So Far the Family is Safe........

I get weird this time of year. That lack of sunshine, coupled with the schedule I work, makes me a wee bit crankier than normal. I haven't killed anyone ..... yet.

But it's going to start getting a bit more light in a couple of days. According to my weather page, the length of visible light today was 10hrs 26 mins. Tomorrow is gonna be 6 mins less.

BUT, things should start to pick up after that. Damn glad of that. I feel like I need to get the grow lights out I use for starting garden seeds and parking my ass under them. I get this way every year. I can see why guys get cabin fever.

I can't figure out what the messages on the mirror mean though. REDRUM?

Well, I need to go sharpen the Axe. Never know when I'll need to chop some wood. Later.
Maybe I can Ride My Bike............

Looks like the weather may be warming up a little towards the end of the week. High 30's or low 40's by Friday. Great. I need to get the big blue Kawasaki out for a spin.

I heard her whispering bad things to me the other day while I was out in the garage.

It just occured to me that the title of this post can be sung to the Beatles tune "Drive my car". OK, gratuitous Beatle references aside, a nice ride would do wonders for my mental hygine.
No more Worries About Going Undefeated in Indy.....

"San Diego hands the Colts their Asses yesterday while administering a good old fashioned Ass Whuppin'. Nostalgic Miami fans breath sigh of relief."

The Patriots were watching that game and have ideas of doing the same thing in a few weeks. Developing, as Drudge says.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Sometimes I Need a Little Help........

My Nerdiness is boundless. I couldn't figure out why the info on the left kept sinking down the page. Hey, don't laugh. When I first started college the computers for registration filled a huge room. Big tape reels going, climate controlled environment, big deal.

I still don't know squat about them. Fortunately, SwampBoy came by and was kind enough to clue me in on how to fix it.

Big thanks to him for that and he's been added to the sidebar links (which are back up top).

All 2 or 3 of you who read this crap should have a look at his blog. Very interesting and N'Lins based. I've had a bit of a change in my opinion about the post Katrina situation since looking over his site.

OK, Thanks again SwampBoy!! Gotta go get to work and save lives in the ER now! Later.

Here's a link:

Maybe I'll figure out how to condense my links in a neat and orderly manner next!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Quote of The Day............

From Lee at Right thinking on the Left Coast -

"If conservatives want to abolish abortion in this country, all they have to do is figure out how to get a fetus to brutally slaughter four people and then write children’s books about it."

That about says it all.
So Long Tookie.........

Calif. killer turned peacemaker Williams executedTue Dec 13, 2005 3:41 AM ET
By Adam Tanner
SAN QUENTIN, California (Reuters) - California prison officials executed Stanley Tookie Williams, 51, the ex-leader of the Crips gang who brutally killed four people in 1979, early on Tuesday after top courts and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger rejected final appeals to spare his life.
The unofficial time of death was 12:35 a.m. PST Tuesday

OK. Can we get on with something else on the news coverage now?

Friday, December 09, 2005

More Weird Christmas Stuff...........

Stolen from
All That's Missing is the Red Nose.........

This is just sick enough to make me smile!
That's Right, None of That "Flying Raindeer" Crap.......

Wouldn't be riding that around here today. We got 4-5 inches of snow yesterday and it's cooooold!
Strange Message in the Mail Today..........

I'm thinking there must be some mistake here. Here's the message -

I will seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love, *The Flu*

Yeah, I knew there had to be a catch. Get a Flu Shot.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Operation Phone Home .........

Here's another good thing You, Me or We can do to help out our troops.

The USO is requesting our help for phone cards. If you can donate a few bucks for a Trooper to call home during the Christmas go here:

Phone, mail or use the easy online donation page. The USO is another great organization. It's TAX DEDUCTIBLE TOO! How many of your presents are you gonna be able to say that about!

I'm in already. How about you?

Something You Can Do ........

Here's a great organization that really does support the troops. Our family participates and I would ask that you do too.
I should have had this place on the sidebar before. My bad. I'll fix that.

Check them out here:

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

64 Years Ago Today ..........

Let us not forget those who gave all. Thank a Veteran today for his or her service.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Something For the Troops............

There. Don't you feel better now? I do.

See, I'm not angry anymore.
Yeah, I didn't mention the "Propaganda complaint" Bullshit in the news recently. Just think how Ted Kennedy or Nancy Pelosi would react to this shit?

See, I'm even laughing now.

Stolen from:
Howard Dean "Supporting Our Troops" Again..........

I've been avoiding this topic for quite awhile now. The letter below just set me off I guess. So, if you're the sensitive type, better quit now.

Hey, I warned ya!

Dean: US Won't Win in Iraq
LAST UPDATE: 12/5/2005 6:26:32 PMPosted By: Jim Forsyth

(SAN ANTONIO) -- Saying the "idea that we're going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong," Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean predicted today that the Democratic Party will come together on a proposal to withdraw National Guard and Reserve troops immediately, and all US forces within two years.

Nice job supporting the troops Howard. You Asshole. Way to build morale.......... Amongst the Terrorists.

Dean made his comments in an interview on WOAI Radio in San Antonio.
"I've seen this before in my life. This is the same situation we had in Vietnam. Everybody then kept saying, 'just another year, just stay the course, we'll have a victory.' Well, we didn't have a victory, and this policy cost the lives of an additional 25,000 troops because we were too stubborn to recognize what was happening."

Dean says the Democrat position on the war is 'coalescing,' and is likely to include several proposals.

'coalescing,' I love that shit. They have not put forth one single idea on what to do or how to do it till this latest "SURRENDER" Bullshit of the last 2 weeks. WTF is wrong with these people?

"I think we need a strategic redeployment over a period of two years," Dean said. "Bring the 80,000 National Guard and Reserve troops home immediately. They don't belong in a conflict like this anyway.

Excuse the shit out of me, Howard, but they're members of the Friggin' ARMED FORCES! Well, We could have them invade San Francisco I guess, or you know, some of those blue areas.

We ought to have a redeployment to Afghanistan of 20,000 troops, we don't have enough troops to do the job there and its a place where we are welcome. And we need a force in the Middle East, not in Iraq but in a friendly neighboring country to fight (terrorist leader Musab) Zarqawi, who came to Iraq after this invasion.

Name one. The Iraqis want us there. (I'd say Syria, but that would just give one of those pussies a case of the vapors).

Oh BTW, Dickhead, Zarqawi came to Iraq FROM Afghanistan after being wounded and received care and support from Saddam. Saddam, who never had anything to do with terrorists though. But hell, don't let the facts get in the way.

We've got to get the target off the backs of American troops.
Dean didn't specify which country the US forces would deploy to, but he said he would like to see the entire process completed within two years. He said the Democrat proposal is not a 'withdrawal,' but rather a 'strategic redeployment' of U.S. forces.

Oh Lordy, I love that shit. A "Strategic Redeployment". Why don't you just call it what it is - Surrender. Friggin' creep.

"The White House wants us to have a permanent commitment to Iraq. This is an Iraqi problem. President Bush got rid of Saddam Hussein and that was a great thing, but that could have been done in a very different way.

Still waiting to hear just what that way would have been. Another angry letter from the UN Security Council?

But now that we're there we need to figure out how to leave. 80% of Iraqis want us to leave, and it's their country."

Yes, it is their country ....... NOW. Saddam and his two nasty ass sons would still be running people into wood chippers if you and the rest of the Democrats had anything to do with it. I guess we need to look at the Bosnian experience for inspiration of how to properly run an operation like this. 10 years and counting and still not one election or government. Iraq will be having it's third successful election in a few weeks.

Dean also compared the controversy over pre-war intelligence to the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon's presidency in 1974.

WTF? This is a streach even for Howard. You can't even properly make fun of something that friggin' stupid.

"What we see today is very much like what was going in Watergate," Dean said. "It turns out there is a lot of good evidence that President Bush did not tell the truth when he was asking Congress for the power to go to war. The President said last week that Congress saw the same intelligence that he did in making the decision to go to war, and that is flat out wrong. The President withheld some intelligence from the Senate Intelligence Committee. He withheld the report from the CIA that in fact there was no evidence of weapons of mass destruction (in Iraq), that they did not have a nuclear program. They (the White House) selectively gave intelligence to the United States Senate and the United States Congress and got them to give the go ahead to attack these people."

In an article of falsehoods, that last paragraph is a stunner. I guess Howard believes that idea about "If you repeat a lie often enough....."

What you're seeing is a setup for the Democrats to take credit for when ANY troops come home. Doesn't matter what the time frame or why. These pricks haven't done Jack to advance the cause of anyone but the terrorist in the last two years, but damn it all, when the troops come home .............. it'll have been because of US!

The Iraq and Afganistan campaign have both been hugely successful. FIFTY Million people are working on building their free and Democratic (real democratic, not Howard Dean type democratic) societies, in only three years. The mainstream press has been doing their best to cover for Howard and his treasonous pals thru all of this. And they have been very successful.

Howard and his nasty little friends are more concerned with recovering political power than with living up to the commitments they made to Americans and the world. They wish a defeat on America ........ because it would be good for them.

That's a disgusting thing. Loving political power more than your Country. Time to dust off "The Sedition Act". Abe Lincoln would not have put up with the shit these AssMonkeys fling every day.

OK. Thats it for now. I'm still pissed tho'. I have friends over there who would appreciate a true and accurate accounting of what's happening. A little support wouldn't hurt. I'm beginning to hate.

That's not good.

" Homecoming" the Movie ..........

OK, I was already Pissed off today.

Dennis Lim of the Village Voice
Gives a full body tongue washing
review of Director, Joe Dante's
new movie, "homecoming".

A Horror movie, as Mr Lim says -

"In an election year, dead veterans of the current conflict crawl out of their graves and stagger single-mindedly to voting booths so they can eject the president who sent them to fight a war sold on "horseshit and elbow grease."

Director Joe Dante puts it this way - "This is a horror story because most of the characters are Republicans,"

Sorry Joe, this is a horror film because we're not as familiar with people coming back from the dead to vote for Democrats as you guys are.

If you have the stomach, you can read the review here:,lim,70455,20.html

Remind me again why it is that they get all pissy when someone "Questions their Patriotism?"

Oh yeah, they "Support the Troops". Sorry, I forgot for a minute there.

Monday, December 05, 2005

So Wrong. In So Many Ways .........

Yeah, this is a no shit, for real letter sent to a recovering Soldier at Walter Reed Med Center.

You can read the story here :

This kinda shit makes me think bad things. Who taught this Kid to hate like that?

I could go on and on about this. But I won't, because it will probably raise my blood pressure to dangerously high levels.

Bush Derangement Syndrome has now become a cross generation infection. I feel sorry for the kid and disgust for the DNA donors.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I Scare Myself Sometimes ...............

I probably shouldn't be allowed to work some nights. Last night was one of those "Zombies from Hell" nights in the ER.

Most nights you get drug seeking Zombies, belligerent bastards and ignorant oxygen thieves, taking up space in the ER from people who really need to be there. Nothing unusual about that.

Sometimes, something ratchets up what I call, "The weirdness factor", to incredible levels. It's like being in the audience at a Jerry Springer Show taping.

Let me give you a little run down of the types of folks I was dealing with.

The EMS scanner dispatches an ambulance to a residence for a 53 year old woman who had fallen in the shower. At 8 o'clock in the morning. And injured her finger. JUST her finger. Nothing else. 12 hours ago. Of course EMS are forbidden to tell these Zombies, to go pound sand, so they bring her in and drop her with me. I have them take her straight to the waiting room up front for some "fluorescent Light Therapy". This is therapeutic for me anyways.
After 45 minutes or so of light therapy, I Triage her and chew her a new one about abusing the EMS services. It's like talking to a 185 lb Chia Pet with home made tattoos. She gets her rings cut off, Xray and a splint on her broken finger - And then asks me to call the ambulance to take her home.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told her absolutely not and went thru my whole schpeil about abusing the EMS system again, Yada,Yada, Yada. She's pissed now and bitching about how is she gonna get home. A refrain from telling her what I'm really thinking, but send her out and tell her to call a cab from the waiting room. She screams at me and tells me to perform a sex act I'm sure I'm not limber enough to pull off.

It went down hill from there.

Two young females, sisters I think, come in demanding immediate attention because one of them has a kidney stone and is dying. That would be the one chewing gum and text messaging while I'm trying to Triage her. Ummmm, pardon me if I don't get to excited about the possibility of you dying right in front of me here. I got her into a room and gave her a cup to pee in just so I wouldn't have to look at them. Doc orders some tests and a scan for her alledged stone. 48 minutes after walking in the door they are complaining about how long things are taking and "We never wait this long in XXXville Hospital". I asked them if they thought they were in the drive thru at McDonald's. They failed to see the genius of my humor. Then implored me to perform the same impossible sex act as the first Zombie and left.

I'm on a roll!! My customer service ratings are starting to look like Ted Kennedy's man tits.

Now all this crap is going on while we are trying to care for actual sick people too. A drug seeker with a "Migraine" is thrashing around out front scaring the registration girls, so I Triage her to get her out of their view. I've got a good memory for those people and have seen her before. I didn't get to the Doc and he ordered a big slug of narcotics for her and these were administered by the other nurse. Oh well. Upon discharge time, I asked her where the driver she'd told me she'd had was at. She started giving me some BS and I told her she had to have a driver or I was gonna make her sit there for at least 4 more hours. She got on the phone then and told me her sister was coming to pick her up. Great. Let me know when she gets here. I know she's gonna bolt and drive off all jacked up on Narcs and I'm pissed. I pulled her into the room and called her on her BS. She denies driving herself in and continues with the whole, "My sister is coming, but she can't come in 'cause of her kids are with her in the car. I'll wait outside the front door for her." Shit. I don't have time for this BS. I told her she was lying and I knew it and that I was gonna call the cops if she drove off. Thinking ahead, I advised her not to come back too. She slid out as soon as my back was turned and drove off on a motorscooter. She didn't tell me to do that impossible sex thing tho' and hopefully, she won't be back for awhile.

While I'm in the middle of starting an IV, Some AssMonkey starts screaming out in the hall. No, not yelling, really screaming. Seems his young girlfriend has had a bellyache for 30 minutes and having to wait 12 minutes in the Triage area was to much for him. I finish up taping my IV and hang the fluids and go see what's up. The unit clerk has called the Cops already. Bless her. This guys about 20 - 22 and totally out of control. Screaming at the top of his lungs that his girl is gonna die and not using the nicest language. Scares the hell out of all the patients and families. It should have scared me but for some reason it didn't. I was calm and tried to de-escalate him, but it wasn't working to well. I think he was fixin to pound my ass when the cops showed up. I just told them to get him out of there so I could see what was bothering his girl. He just couldn't get himself under control and ended up starting some crap with the cop and earned himself a night in jail.

This was only some of what I had to see last night. All while trying to care for real sick people. It's that way in every ER in America. It's difficult to do a good job for those who really need it with all this other crap going on. We try. We really do. Keep this little story in mind when you have to wait for test results and such. There's always these distractions that keep us from doing the job properly.

It's December.

May as Well Start
With the
Christmas Stuff......

Stolen, like always, from

I don't know where he gets
all this stuff. But I'm glad he does.

The 5 Stages of Sex..........

The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Including the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you've got to do it in the bedroom.

The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!"

There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the court.